The Post Breakup Blues


The Psychology Behind The Breakup And How To Cope

The breakup leads to a sense of loss. When one is in a relationship, they integrate each other into their daily lives – in action and in thought.  It is like trying to deal with the death of a relationship, thus making the person go through all the five stages of loss – Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance.

Along with the sense of loss, the person also goes through a feeling of shock and rejection – which is painful. Studies show that our brain elicits a physical reaction to rejection – the emotions manifest in the body; this is our brain’s way of protecting us. It is difficult to control these powerful feelings, but nevertheless one can control their reaction to them. It is much easier to control one’s actions as opposed to one’s thoughts and feelings.



Overcoming a breakup can be understood as overcoming addiction – it will take time. It is a good idea to give yourself a week to mourn the loss of your relationship.

Do not isolate yourself

Rather surround yourself with people who love and support you. Take help from your friends and family. This will help you overcome the feeling of being alone and worthless. It is pretty helpful when friends can step in to do things with you that you did with your partner.

Follow a strict routine everyday

Make a to-do list. This will help you focus on your actions and distract you from falling into an obsessive pattern of repeating the incidents of your break-up in your mind. Try and avoid triggers for a while which would make you miss your relationship more and drive you into the obsessive pattern.

Focus on yourself

Start to focus on taking care of yourself and working on your strengths. Learning new things and trying things that you have always wanted to do will improve your sense of self-worth which had been scarred by the break-up.

Sometimes, there is a tendency for people to pretend that everything is okay. It is best to express your feelings rather than bottle them up.

At the time of the break up one must not immediately jump into trying to stay friends or stay in touch. It is best to take time off, deal with your feelings, resolve, and move on.

Not acting on feelings of revenge in case of betrayal, or cheating is important.

Also, in order to move forward, some people are tempted to make drastic changes like getting a tattoo, quitting their job or getting a haircut. This might not be a good idea, as this drastic change will become a symbol of the broken relationship in your mind.

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